Page 46 - issue
P. 46
IT WAS
NOT MY
TIME
by Goldy Krantz I have experienced everything that can be is just sechel (common sense) – but I
imagined while dating. I know exactly have a yearning and maybe even an obli-
Ispent 13 years in the shidduch par- how singles feel: disappointed, burnt out, gation to the rest of the Yidden in the
sha. Baruch Hashem, I have wed, but depressed. I’ve been there, done that. shidduch parsha to share with you what
just because I am married doesn’t That is what my book, The Best of My happened to me before I was finally able
mean I’ve forgotten what I went Worst, is based on. In it, I told the world to stand under the chupa with my
through and what thousands of oth- what really is going on in the shidduch chasan, Yeshaya Yehuda.
ers are currently going through. I still dating world, what I was experiencing.
have very close friends and cousins in But instead of crying about it, I decided Very simply put, I threw away my list of
the shidduch parsha. One of the to share a laugh. prerequisites. I was looking for a working
important tasks I have now is trying to professional, someone with a wonderful
match them up with appropriate shid- It was only a few years later that I sense of humor and an outgoing person-
duchim – not just pairing up a male and found out that Hashem was not having a ality, someone a bit older than me, some-
a female, because I remember how that laugh at my expense. Rather, he was lin- one who had a chavrusa a few times a
feels. I remember how it felt to stand at a ing everything up so that I would meet week. I dated fellows who were missing
singles event or go to a Shabbaton and and marry my husband in the right time one or two of the prerequisites, but I basi-
feel that this wasn’t where I belonged. – and not a moment before. cally stuck to my list. If I had never com-
And I remember calling and calling and promised, I would still be dating.
calling shadchanim who either didn’t What I offer now is not a good laugh
return my calls or set me up with the or another dating “horror” story but some I met my husband through work, and
antithesis of what I was looking for. I felt advice. Take it or not – the choice is yours we became very casual friends. Yes, it is
lost, and I felt that the assistance being – but I would be remiss if I didn’t pass it true, we did attend the same Shabbaton
offered to me and others wasn’t address- on, because, as family and people in shul together, but it took my husband a year-
ing the true issues singles were having. have pointed out to me, “You gave me and-a-half to ask me out after that
strength before, and you give me hope Shabbaton. The first date wasn’t a great
Another tafkid (task) is giving chizuk now.” I don’t pretend that what I have to one, and I decided that we should “stay
(encouragement) to others in the parsha. say are true words of wisdom – to me, it friends.”
42 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
NOT MY
TIME
by Goldy Krantz I have experienced everything that can be is just sechel (common sense) – but I
imagined while dating. I know exactly have a yearning and maybe even an obli-
Ispent 13 years in the shidduch par- how singles feel: disappointed, burnt out, gation to the rest of the Yidden in the
sha. Baruch Hashem, I have wed, but depressed. I’ve been there, done that. shidduch parsha to share with you what
just because I am married doesn’t That is what my book, The Best of My happened to me before I was finally able
mean I’ve forgotten what I went Worst, is based on. In it, I told the world to stand under the chupa with my
through and what thousands of oth- what really is going on in the shidduch chasan, Yeshaya Yehuda.
ers are currently going through. I still dating world, what I was experiencing.
have very close friends and cousins in But instead of crying about it, I decided Very simply put, I threw away my list of
the shidduch parsha. One of the to share a laugh. prerequisites. I was looking for a working
important tasks I have now is trying to professional, someone with a wonderful
match them up with appropriate shid- It was only a few years later that I sense of humor and an outgoing person-
duchim – not just pairing up a male and found out that Hashem was not having a ality, someone a bit older than me, some-
a female, because I remember how that laugh at my expense. Rather, he was lin- one who had a chavrusa a few times a
feels. I remember how it felt to stand at a ing everything up so that I would meet week. I dated fellows who were missing
singles event or go to a Shabbaton and and marry my husband in the right time one or two of the prerequisites, but I basi-
feel that this wasn’t where I belonged. – and not a moment before. cally stuck to my list. If I had never com-
And I remember calling and calling and promised, I would still be dating.
calling shadchanim who either didn’t What I offer now is not a good laugh
return my calls or set me up with the or another dating “horror” story but some I met my husband through work, and
antithesis of what I was looking for. I felt advice. Take it or not – the choice is yours we became very casual friends. Yes, it is
lost, and I felt that the assistance being – but I would be remiss if I didn’t pass it true, we did attend the same Shabbaton
offered to me and others wasn’t address- on, because, as family and people in shul together, but it took my husband a year-
ing the true issues singles were having. have pointed out to me, “You gave me and-a-half to ask me out after that
strength before, and you give me hope Shabbaton. The first date wasn’t a great
Another tafkid (task) is giving chizuk now.” I don’t pretend that what I have to one, and I decided that we should “stay
(encouragement) to others in the parsha. say are true words of wisdom – to me, it friends.”
42 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
