Imagine your mind
as a meticulous planner, always thinking ahead, anticipating every turn in the
road or potential misfortune. This may seem like a beneficial strategy since
planning is a great skill, but sometimes, our desire to control the future
becomes so intense that it disrupts our daily lives. This is where anxiety
enters the scene.
Anxiety is like
that friend who tends to worry about almost everything. It’s that jittery
feeling you get before a significant event, such as an important exam or
presentation. It can make your heart race, your palms sweaty, and your thoughts
go haywire with “what-ifs.”
Another way of
conceptualizing anxiety is to use the metaphor of a pool table. Imagine you
must make a difficult shot, such as hitting your ball off two sides with just
the right amount of spin to hit the pocket you need. Any movement to the shot
or disruption in concentration will send the ball careening in the absolute
wrong direction.
Anxiety functions
in much the same way. We become so invested in a certain outcome – getting the
right job, getting into the right school, finding the right shidduch, etc. – that we create a
pathway in our minds of how we will achieve the goal we want and manifest the
future we desire. The problem is when the pathway becomes rigid to the point
that any perceived disruption messes up our carefully laid plans. For example,
a high school student wants to get into a prestigious college, so she signs up
for a bunch of AP courses. As the year progresses, she finds it increasingly
difficult to keep up with the demands of the schedule. Instead of making the
rational choice to drop one class, she tries to juggle all her responsibilities
to the point that she fails multiple classes. Why didn’t she stop and
rationally decide that it would be more beneficial for her sanity (and GPA) to
drop a class? Because in the mind of such a person, dropping a class threatens
the planned trajectory they were on.
But here’s the
thing: You can learn to “make friends” with anxiety and prevent it from taking
over. One way to do this is through mindfulness. Think of mindfulness as a
mental pause button. Instead of constantly worrying about the future, you focus
on the here and now. Pay attention to simple things like your breathing, the
taste of your food, or the sensation of the ground beneath your feet. It’s
essentially telling your mind, “Let’s take a break from thinking about the
future and enjoy the present.”
Another strategy
is to challenge those self-limiting beliefs that anxiety thrives on. The
relationship between self-limiting beliefs and anxiety is profound.
Self-limiting beliefs are like anchors that tether our potential, convincing us
that we are incapable or unworthy. These negative thoughts breed doubt, erode
self-confidence, and create a fertile ground for anxiety to take root. When we
believe that we cannot handle challenges or that we are destined to fail,
anxiety seizes the opportunity to magnify our fears and heighten our stress
responses. Thus, recognizing and challenging self-limiting beliefs is a pivotal
step in mitigating anxiety, as it dismantles the foundation upon which anxiety
thrives, paving the way for greater emotional resilience and well-being.
If you find
yourself struggling with anxiety, and you feel that it is impeding daily
functioning, it may be time to consider seeking a therapist. A therapist can be
a lifeline for individuals struggling with anxiety. He or she brings a wealth
of expertise in understanding the nuances of anxiety and helping clients
decipher the roots of their worries and fears. Through a therapeutic alliance
built on trust and empathy, therapists provide a safe space for clients to
express their anxieties without judgment. They employ evidence-based techniques
like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to assist individuals in identifying
and challenging distorted thought patterns that fuel anxiety. Therapists guide
clients in developing coping strategies tailored to their specific needs,
empowering them to face anxiety-provoking situations with greater confidence.
Moreover, therapists offer valuable insights into relaxation techniques and
mindfulness practices, helping clients regain a sense of control over their
emotional responses. With their guidance, individuals can explore the
underlying causes of their anxiety, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and work
towards lasting emotional equilibrium.
When attending
therapy for anxiety, it is crucial to have realistic expectations. Therapy is a
collaborative effort, and progress may not be linear. Initially, clients can
anticipate a comprehensive assessment, where the therapist gathers information
about anxiety triggers, symptoms, and personal history. Together, they’ll set
clear goals for therapy, outlining what they hope to achieve. During sessions,
clients should expect an open and nonjudgmental environment. Therapists will
introduce therapeutic techniques, such as mindfulness exercises, cognitive
restructuring, and exposure therapy, tailoring them to the client’s unique
needs. Therapy may involve confronting uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, but
this is a vital part of the healing process. Ultimately, clients can expect a
gradual improvement in their ability to manage anxiety and a growing sense of
empowerment as they work with their therapist to navigate the challenges
anxiety presents.
