The women of our community might seem to have a monopoly on doing chesed, perhaps, thanks to the formal chesed activities that were inculcated in them back in their school days. However, there are men out there, too, who do chesed, notwithstanding their often demanding daily davening, working, and learning schedules. This is part one of a series of articles that will spotlight just some of the men in the Baltimore community who take the time to do chesed, because they feel it is important to give back to a community that has given them so much.
Simcha Kossman’s typical day starts in the wee hours of the morning, when he wakes up and gets ready to go to the 6:10/6:20 a.m. minyan at the Agudath Israel-Park Heights. He gets to work by 7:30 a.m., and he is home by 5:30 p.m. After dinner (which is often eaten with his married children and grandchildren), he either goes to a meeting, goes to learn, works on the Agudah scrip program, makes phone calls for a mossad [institution], goes shopping with his wife, or visits his children.
Mr. Kossman was born in Paterson, New Jersey, at a time when it was a very Jewish city. There was an Orthodox shul one block from his house and another two blocks away. Yavneh Academy day school was within walking distance, as well–only four blocks away. He attended public school through fifth grade and switched to the day school in sixth grade, where he was placed in sixth grade for English subjects and first grade for Hebrew subjects.
“By eighth grade I was in the same grade in Hebrew and English studies,” recalls Mr. Kossman. “I went to Yeshiva University high school (M.T.A.) and commuted back and forth each day to Paterson. I went to Yeshiva University for my first year of college (R.I.E.T.S.) and was in Rav Lichtenstein’s shiur. My sister had recently married someone from Ner Israel who convinced me to switch to there. I went to Johns Hopkins, where I majored in math, and later got a master’s in Operations Research . I received semicha from Ner Israel in 1973 (the same year I got married.).
“I was always interested in math and after graduation I applied for math jobs in different areas,” continues Mr. Kossman. “I had a cousin who was an actuary who suggested that I look into that field. An Actuary is someone who puts a current value on events that may occur some time in the future, for example, the calculation of the cost of paying an insured if he gets into a car accident. When I first looked into it, I was told explicitly by some large insurance companies that they would not consider hiring Sabbath observant Jews. Things had not changed that much after I received my graduate degree, but I was able to secure a job in Baltimore at Monumental Life Insurance company. My cousin had worked for Prudential Life Insurance, and he kept me informed over the years on changes in Prudential’s hiring policy. It went from `we will not hire Sabbath observing Jews’ to `we’ll consider it, but it’s a strong negative’, to `we’ll consider them on equal footing’ to eventually hiring one.’”
Mr. Kossman is employed as a senior actuary for Monumental Life Insurance, in downtown Baltimore, where he has worked for over 37 years. He is the second vice president in his company, which has several hundred employees in its home office supporting 1500 agents and managers in offices around the country. He also chairs a committee that is responsible for the exam that tests knowledge of theory of interest and financial economics, for the Fellows of the Society of Actuaries, the accreditation board for actuaries.
“My company has a flexible work week policy,” says Mr. Kossman. “I usually stop working about 12:30 on Fridays and erev Yom Tov, both winter and summer. Over my 37 years, there have only been a handful of times that I’ve had to stay longer.”
Mr. Kossman has little spare time, if any. When he needs to relax and can find the time, he reads. “Spare time is usually spent with family,” he says. “Boruch Hashem, all of my three children are married and live within walking distance from me. Bli ayin hora, I have eight grandchildren and I try to spend time with all of them.”
Yet, Mr. Kossman still finds the time to learn with a chavrusa three times a week, attend periodic shiurim, and learn weekly with someone in New York, by phone, through the Partners in Torah program. In addition, he and his wife, Leah, have both worked on the Agudah Scrip program (which can be quite time consuming), since its inception about ten years ago.
Mr. Kossman has been volunteering since he got married. He is currently an officer of the Eruv of Baltimore, and on the boards of both the Talmudical Academy (T.A.) and Congregation Shomrei Emunah. Over the years, he has served as president of Agudath Israel of Baltimore and secretary of T.A. He is also a longtime member of the Northwest Citizens Patrol (N.W.C.P.), as well as a longtime backer of the former P’Tach/Weinberg Academy.
“My most challenging role was chairing the tuition committee at T.A.,” admits Mr. Kossman. “Before accepting that position, I had been warned that such a position could have a negative impact on shidduchim for my children. I feel the opposite is true. I think it may have been in the zechus of accepting the position that I had such hatzlocho with shidduchim! Poskim have said that in addition to the obligation of giving at least ten percent of your money to charity, one is obligated to give ten percent of your time to the tzibbur [community]. With the hard economic times that our mosdos are now facing, the need for volunteers is greater than ever.”
One of Mr. Kossman’s priorities is to try to promote achdus (unity) among what is perceived as different segments of the Baltimore community. “When I was president of the Agudah, for example, I organized various functions that were co-sponsored by a number of shuls,” he explains. “By being active in both the Agudah and Shomrei Emunah, I’m trying to promote the idea that there is much, much more that all frum Jews have in common, rather than the trivial areas where we differ, and that it is okay to participate in different shuls. After all, we all use the same siddur.”
Who has Mr. Kossman’s greatest inspiration been? “If I had to choose a single individual who has had the biggest impact, it would be Rov Heinemann Shlitah,” says Mr. Kossman. “Although I had a relationship with him back to my days in the yeshiva, the relationship really grew during the six years I was president of the Agudah. I was able to witness the countless personal sacrifices he made for the community and especially to keep shalom. It’s given me a better understanding on the importance of having shalom in a community.”
Michoel Kelmar worked with Mr. Kossman, at Monumental, for twelve years, until very recently. “The kiddush Hashem he makes in the workplace is tremendous,” feels Mr. Kelmar. “When I interviewed at Monumental, there were two positions open, one under Mr. Kossman and one under a different actuary. So the many folks that interviewed me told me about what it was like to work for “Steve”. One, bleached-blond young woman was very careful to leave the door ajar in the interview room. She told me that Steve had explained to her about yichud. She was a real typical “shiksa” (excuse my lashon), but yet she was completely comfortable and respectful of the idea of yichud because Steve had explained it to her in a way that even a person like that could hear.
“Another person told me how much she liked working for Steve, even though he could be a bit tough and really knew what was going on with his employees,” continues Mr. Kelmar. “The reason she liked it was because he was extremely straight and fair. She had been denied a promotion that she felt she deserved. Steve sided with her and really went to bat with the senior officers on her behalf.
“For years, the chief actuary, Mr. Kossman’s boss, bought one of my $180 Torah Institute raffle tickets from me,” recalls Mr. Kelmar. “When I would try to tell him the good things that were going on at the school that his money was going towards, he kind of cut me off, and said, `don’t worry about it, I know Steve well enough already, that I can imagine what your schools teach’.
“The company CFO used to always refer to Mr. Kossman as “the Rabbi” (which Mr. Kossman actually found uncomfortable),” continues Mr. Kelmar. “People looked to him as both a moral and intellectual authority of sorts. It was an honor to work with him. I often felt that I got the benefit of the doubt, due to folks mentally associating us as the two frum Jews.”
Perhaps the greatest testimonial to Mr. Kossman’s sterling character and care and concern he shows every human being, is something unknown to Mr. Kossman, himself.
“Pat, a non-Jewish co-worker, worked in the actuarial department at Monumental Life Insurance for many years,” relates Mr. Kelmar. “At some point, both she and I were transferred to the IT department. We were working on a project together and she commented to me about the great regard she has for “Steve”. When I asked her about it, she told me that when she first came to the company, he was the one that hired her. On her interview, he asked, `I have only one question–Do you know how to think?’ She said “yes”–I guess in a way that he found believable–so he hired her. She told me that she had grown up in a very dysfunctional home and had an extremely difficult background of moving from one foster home to another. He constantly showed confidence in her and taught her to believe in herself. She eventually became quite accomplished, programming FORTRAN, COBOL, and then later handling IT security for the company. When she was in night college, several years after starting in Monumental, she was given an assignment to write about the biggest positive influence on her life. She really had no good parental model until Rabbi Kossman, and she wrote the paper about him. I don’t think she ever told him about it.”
