My children are mostly grown up now, but I can still remember the tension I felt when I had to work on Chol Hamoed and my children had school vacation, or the times when my son cried bitterly when I dropped him off at the daycare center. All day I was torn between doing my job and worrying about the kids. Most working mothers can identify with this stress. Often we think, am I doing the right thing or the wrong thing for my family by going to work? What can I do differently so that we can all benefit?

Since many young women work today, I decided to explore some of the choices they make about their working lives. Why do women work? How do they maintain a balance between their home and work lives? Why do some women chose not to work? How does family support help? What impact does working have on the children?

Once, I heard two women talking disparagingly about a store. “You know,” said one with disgust, “I just went into that store, and they had last year’s styles out on the rack!” Her friend nodded in commiseration.

I remember that conversation well, because it was the first time I realized there was such a thing as last year’s style! To my way of thinking, if the outfit was nice last year, it is nice this year as well. It seems, however,  that even if our old things are still attractive, buying new clothes for Yom Tov is a tradition of Jewish life. The Gemara tells us to increase simchas Yom Tov by giving everybody what makes them happy. We are encouraged to buy wine for the men, treats for the children, and clothing for the women. So, yes, buying clothes can actually be a mitzva! But it can also be a huge headache for the fashion-challenged.

Walking down the aisle in the grocery store, a little girl nudges her mother and whispers, “Look, there’s Zaidy Arnold.” Her mother is surprised. She only knows about two zaidies in the family, and neither one is named Arnold.

“Who is that?” she whispers back.

“He reads stories to us,” the little girl replies, “and it is the best part of Funday!”

In “real life,” Zaidy Arnold is Mr. Arnold Shear, who moved to Baltimore five years ago. “I love children,” says Mr. Shear, “and had been reading to them when I lived in Boston. Each week, I choose books at the library to read to the Bais Yaakov nursery and pre-nursery classes. I make it a lot of fun, wearing different hats and fun costumes, which makes every Monday into a fun day! I don’t know who enjoys it more,” says Mr. Shear, “me or the children.”

In the book The Maggid at the Podium, Rabbi Paysach Krohn tells the story of a slaughterhouse in Argentina that opened every day at 5:00 a.m. and closed at 6:00 in the evening. The owner, Zev, stayed until 8:00, when he would turn off the lights, drive to the guardhouse, say good-night to Pedro, the security officer. Then he and Pedro would leave, each in his own car. One night, Zev stopped at the guardhouse as usual and said, “Time to go home, Pedro.”

“We can’t go,” Pedro replied. “Rabbi Berkowitz, one of the shochtim, hasn’t left yet.”

I have always been fascinated by stories of life on the American frontier, as described by Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House in the Big Woods children’s classics. The author mentions her mother making candles, soap, flour, butter, cheese, and bread, and even weaving the fabric to sew their clothing. Her father knew how to dig for fresh water, build a house out of prairie sod, plant crops, and shoot partridges and rabbits for the family’s meals. In contrast to these pioneers, if we landed in the prairie without our indoor plumbing, effortless heating, and supermarkets, most of us would be about as independent as newborn babies!

The denizens of the Old West were self-sufficient by necessity, but even today, some people choose to do things the old fashioned way – just because. Although they can buy vegetables in the supermarket and readymade clothes in the mall, they prefer to plant a garden and sew a wardrobe. Although they can hire a caterer and a cleaning lady, they prefer to cook for their own simchas and clean their own houses.

A child comes home from school in tears, telling his parents he was bullied in school. What should the parents do? The father’s response is often, “Hit him back!” while the mother counsels the child to “tell the teacher.” Sound familiar? These parents’ differing reactions to this common scenario graphically demonstrate the confusion that exists, even among the experts, about the best way to deal with bullying.