I was eating a sandwich a while back when, without warning, I suddenly felt a small pebble in my mouth – only it wasn’t a pebble. Upon closer inspection I saw that it was a piece of my molar. I felt around the affected tooth with my tongue and discovered a small crater. I’m one of those women who belong to the petrified-of-the-dentist-No- I’m-NOT-going group. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mind going to the dentist for my biannual teeth cleaning. I’m okay with everything from plaque removal to teeth polishing. I’ve even learned to tolerate – well, put up with – the occasional filling, as long as the dentist has strict instructions about Novocain and my need for it. But this tooth breaking-off episode clearly did not fall into any of those categories.

I remember the days when getting ready for bed meant washing my face and brushing my teeth, something that took all of five minutes to accomplish. These days, however, my nighttime routine has turned into a time-consuming evening event. Let’s see, I now use make-up remover before washing my face and an anti-oxidant facial serum for I don’t even know what, but my sister-in-law said it’s a good thing to use, and besides she gave it to me for a present. After flossing my teeth, I’ve started using a water pick and an electric toothbrush, both recommendations from my dentist. Next, I apply creams and lotions and oils because over the past year or so, my skin has dried up.

Thinking back to the days when I was a young mother surrounded by my little children, I remember sometimes wishing I had live-in help. I even thought about how nice it would be to just wiggle my nose and make everything clean and sparkly. Don’t get me wrong; I loved being a full-time mother. I enjoyed taking care of my children, spending time with them, teaching them, playing and reading to them. It was the household details I found never-ending and exhausting: the endless dishes to wash and the loads of laundry to do. It seemed like I was always washing dishes. Apparently, my children thought so too. I remember one day when we were going out together as a family and my young son informed me that I couldn’t join them because I had to wash the dishes!

 I remember seeing all those ads as a child about how to look younger. “Who cares about that?” I thought. I want to be older. Who has time to put on make-up? And exercise? Oh, maybe one day down the road, and please pass me the doughnuts. When I turned 40, I begrudgingly started using lipstick because my lips had lost their color. When 50 rolled around, I sort of panicked. Young mothers started calling me “Mrs.” – and not because I was choshuv. I began to like it when people said to me, “Oh you look so young.”

My best friend and I are so grateful to Hashem that we still go out for Yizkor on Yom Kippur. We say, “kein ayin hora” when we talk about it, like two old ladies. As of late, we wonder how we’ll ever manage life without our dear parents.

 I work in an inner-city neighborhood as a speech pathologist. I teach three- and four-year-old toddlers how to talk. Speech therapy sessions take place in the family home, usually with the mother, child, and me. I bring the toys, and we play. Somehow, by talking about what the child is engaged in, through modeling, repetition, and using single words, a light switch turns on, and in a short time, the child begins talking. It’s amazing and gratifying.

The mothers and I often have a very good relationship. They are kind and respectful to me, often referring to me as Ma’am, as in “Yes, ma’am.” I am kind and respectful to them. When I arrive at the client’s house, I greet the child and his mother with a hearty hello. I tune in to the child with love and kindness, much the same way as I would treat my own grandchildren. I ask the parent how they are doing and really listen to what they have to say. When explaining my treatment methods to them, I am patient and understanding. In short, I am sincerely kind to them. I find being kind with sincerity, goes a long way. After a few sessions, the family acts like they are glad to see me; they smile and treat me with like a friend, and their children run to the door to greet me.