Summary: Under financial strain from their baby Rafael’s therapy needs, the Fragers weigh the pros and cons of moving to a different community. Tzipora is loath to leave her family, mentors, and lifelong friends in Baltimore, who give her the warmth and support she feels she needs to raise her son. She finally agrees to move after realizing that he would benefit greatly from the resources in the New York area.

Our move to Elizabeth, New Jersey, was good in the sense that it indeed provided excellent services for Rafael. However, Elizabeth in 1980 was a smaller community than it is today, and lacked the community resources a young family needed. For instance, there were no welcoming committees for new couples. I was extremely disappointed, because in Baltimore new families were welcomed by N’shei and the Ner Israel Service League. Shul was a major place to meet people, but since Elizabeth was also sans eruv, I was unable to attend on Shabbos morning unless I could locate a babysitter. (Although Baltimore also did not have an eruv at the time of our departure, I had family who came to me, and I had longtime friends, so I didn’t have to cultivate new ones.)

I never want to retire. I have loved writing ever since I was eight years old, when I started to keep a journal and write poetry. It must be genetic. My father could not tolerate being unproductive. After retiring from the meat business, he drove a van for emotionally-challenged adults, until a fall on the ice caused a severe knee injury. That did not stop my father from coming out of retirement, once more. In fact, he died just days after he began volunteering in a hospital medical records department!

It seems that I am not alone. Whether fellow baby boomers

I have a good son. In fact, he’s a great son; He has good middos. He is kind, nice to everyone, intelligent, and responsible. At 16, he drives everywhere, and is happy to do errands for me. He’s a really special person. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

My son likes everything about school, during the English part of day. He likes his rebbe, too, but he doesn’t like gemara. It’s boring and doesn’t excite him. He okay with Chumash, mishnayos, halacha, and many other subjects. But most of the day, he says, is spent on gemara.

About any other subject, I would say, “Don’t worry, that’s not the only thing that counts.” But I’m afraid that, in our system, it is the only thing that counts. And I’m worried that his lack of success in gemara is making him feel badly about himself. I don’t want it to affect his relationship with his Yiddishkeit – because the reality, it seems, is that to be a successful ben Torah in today’s society, you need to be good at gemara.

When I went to a PTA meeting recently, the rebbe said to me, amidst much praise, “You don’t want your son to be one of those who goes off the derech.” He told me that the boys who don’t like gemara have nothing to hold them to Yiddishkeit. I felt like I was going to faint. What are you talking about? I thought. My son is a gem.

Dear Dr. Weisbord,

My daughter, aged eight, often tells me in the morning that she is afraid to go to school. On the last occasion, it was the day after test results were returned to the class. She said that the teacher likes the girls who get good marks on the tests. There is one girl whom the teacher always praises because she regularly gets 100 on tests. My daughter finds it hard to memorize and feels she can never compete with this girl in the teacher’s eyes. She studies hard and still gets average marks.

In reply to my daughter, I asked her, “Do you think anyone remembers what ‘Rochel’ (her older, married sister) got on a third grade social studies test?” I told her that she is a wonderful, kind girl whom a lot of people like, and that I am happy with whatever grade she gets. The important thing is to do her best.

I would like to bring up a subject that I have not seen addressed in the WWW. As we scramble to work out details of child care for our kids on another "delayed opening/school closing day" as parents we are struck by  how quick and seemingly insensitive our community's schools are to both canceling/delaying school, as well as giving days off in the school year. Recently the Jewish schools closed for the day on a light snow day while other schools opened late, (Baltimore City and County schools all opened.) While our children's safety and well being are the most

As yet another tax season rolls around, here are some planning tips that can be critical to saving you money:

The Standard Deduction

The first decision you should make is whether to use what is called the “standard deduction.” This is a fixed amount that anyone is allowed to claim: $10,700 for marrieds and $5,350 for singles. However, if your deductions add up to more than that, it might be wise to “itemize” them. The items you can deduct are state taxes paid, real estate taxes paid, mortgage interest, charity, and, sometimes, medical and job expenses. You can only itemize these deductions that you paid before yearend.

Your medical expenses are only deductible to the extent they exceed 7.5 percent of your income. They include just about anything that is needed for your health: doctors, dentists, therapists, etc. Medical expenses can include special educational expenses for learning disabilities, nursing home expenses, long-term care insurance, and, sometimes, unusual items. One couple managed to deduct their daughter’s clarinet lessons, which were recommended to correct an overbite.