If you know the meanings of laydig-gayer and flahgmat, you earn 50 Yiddishist points – unless you peeked at the translation. (It’s hard not to, when it’s in the title!)

A laydig-gayer is someone who has either retired or who simply has nothing to do except twiddle his thumbs forward and then backwards. A flahgmat, on the other hand, is someone dedicated to taking his (or her) good old time.

So what does being a laydig-gayer have to do with us Yidden? you may ask. After all, there are nochrim (non-Jews) who perceive us as rich aggressive folks. But the truth is that we do have laydig-gayers and flahgmats among Bnai Yisrael (the Jewish people) – and I can prove it!

Following the recitation of the Amidah, Berl Izenkopp (not his real name), having completed the Amidah in “record time,” so to speak, took three steps backwards, as mandated, and sat down. After Shacharis, Berl was approached by a fellow congregant, Yossel Papovitch (not his real name). Yossel’s objective was to give “muser” to Berl. And what is muser? you may ask. Is it a type of cheese, or what? Not exactly… Muser refers to admonishing another Yiddle for violating a law that is in the Torah. It is a type of warning. Thus, if a Yiddle sees another Yiddle violating

Is there a Yiddle who has not heard the word mehtseeuh? Ask any Jewish person the meaning of the word – just out of curiosity, of course – and you should get some interesting responses.

You see, mehtseeuh has several connotations, depending not only on the content but also on facial expression and body language.

For example, Yankel Zetser notices an ad for a “once in a lifetime” coat sale. He excitedly drives to Yenem’s Clothing Outlet. After entering the store, he rushes to the coat section and searches for his size. He finds a coat with the previous $200 price

I happened to be humming the Yiddish song that begins, “Where shall I go? – Vee ahin zol Ich gain?” The lyrics lament our historical tsoress, fleeing from one country to another because of our religion. The solution to the question is presented at the conclusion of the tune: “Not to New York, not to Florida – but to Eretz Yisrael!” A nearby listener commented, “Yitzchak, you haven’t been in Israel for several years. Voss fahr ah Yid bist do – what kind of Jew are you? Are you planning to take a trip to Aretz?”

  I shrugged my

Is there a Yid who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “tsoress”? If you are such a person, “hats off” to you! Simply stated, the meaning of the word tsoress is troubles – but it isn’t that simple!
  Tsoress can be categorized into groyseh (big) tsoress, gehakteh (medium) tsoress, klayneh (small) tsoress, and teefeh (deep) tsoress. Regardless of its category, tsoress is referred to as “tsoress oyf kahpawress.” (In other words, we need it like the chicken needs what happens to it after being whirled around our heads before Yom Kippur.)

  Nu, you may ask, how do

Once upon a time, when our techter (daughters) were kinderlach (tots), I often asked them, “What’s the main thing?” Their response: “To be a mentch!” It was a doctrine that we “drilled” into their kepelach (minds). Yet being a mentch was challenging at times because of situations that arose at school or in the community. When there was a situation that warranted discussion, we had a family meeting and reviewed the problem. Next we discussed the boundaries of being a mentch.

  Voss hayst? What do you mean? you may ask. Iz dehr enfehr, the answer is that at times