Page 55 - issue
P. 55
The Right Words WE MOVED! (410) 358-1997
sidered having done well in school, but the person answering Please note our new address: www.baltimoretherapyspot.com
the question may have A- in their mind as the cutoff for doing 115 Sudbrook Lane
well in school. Quiet is also relative. Quiet compared to what
and to whom? The questioner and the questioned may have Bigger Gym More Treatment Rooms
very different criteria for what constitutes quiet. As a result, Tons of Parking Larger Waiting Room
saying, “They did just okay in school” or “Yes, they are a bit
quiet,” might not be true given the criteria of the person on
the asking end.
The point being, when the questioner is going through a
broad and general checklist to verify that the single they are
looking into is a nice and regular young man or woman,
there is no need to go into specifics. Simple affirmations of
positive qualities and the framing of subjective qualities in a
positive light are the appropriate path to travel. If the ques-
tioner wants to know more, they will ask more; otherwise, it
is best left alone.
When one is able to lead the conversation with measura-
ble qualities of the single being asked about and provide spe-
cific examples of those qualities, it can often prevent the
questioner from asking empty, checklist-type questions to
begin with. Such lists are usually pulled out only when the
conversation stalls or when the interviewee is not providing
information that captures the attention of the questioner.
A Mighty Responsibility IDsoReseYaoudriCnhgilda: SStSrSStturttrugrrSSuuuSggSttgtgggrrltreruugglugueggllgeeglgggeglleell?ee
As a closing point to the topic of receiving calls as a shidduch Avoid reading?
reference – and again, this is much easier accomplished Have poor comprehension? Your child can have
when one knows in advance that one has been listed as a ref- Skip words or re-read lines? 20/20 eyesight,
erence on a single person’s profile – one must acknowledge Have a tracking problem? yet lack the
the accompanying responsibility of being a reference. Close or cover one eye? visual skills
Complain of headaches? critical for reading.
To succeed as an effective reference requires hard work; it Take forever to do homework?
demands thoughtfulness, taking the time to have the conver- Have history of concussion Find out if an undiagnosed
sations, doing so in a relaxed manner, and resisting the urge vision problem is keeping
to respond flippantly to the inevitable distasteful or dumb- ©The Advertiser 410-764-3787 your child from achieving
founding question – a common pitfall that disservices all to full potential.
involved – and most importantly, truly knowing the single
person one is speaking about. Major Medical insurance may
cover testing and treatment.
No one wants to say no when asked if they can serve as a
reference on a shidduch profile, as it is a great zechus to facil- Visit www.VLCA.com to sign up for
itate shidduchim in any way possible. Therefore, if accepting our FREE monthly seminars.
the role, one must fully accept the responsibility of acting as
a reference and be willing to devote oneself to developing the CaVeniinndstiPoeCirnokselTuLshomvecilbralaeitapeyd
skills required.
May Hakadosh Baruch Hu, hachoinein le’adam da’as,
give all of us the requisite wisdom and fortitude to respond
to the shidduch calls we receive with grace and sechel, and
may our preparedness help assist in the bringing of many
young men and women to the chuppa.◆
This is Part 2 of a three-part series. Look for Part 3, where Dr. Michael Kotlicky
we will pick up with specifics on the topic of how to make
successful shidduch research calls, in the next issue of the Developmental Optometrist ,ca rnua
Where What When. 410-730-5808 • www.vlca.com
8827 Columbia 100 Pkwy Columbia, MD 21045
u 410 358 8509 u 47
sidered having done well in school, but the person answering Please note our new address: www.baltimoretherapyspot.com
the question may have A- in their mind as the cutoff for doing 115 Sudbrook Lane
well in school. Quiet is also relative. Quiet compared to what
and to whom? The questioner and the questioned may have Bigger Gym More Treatment Rooms
very different criteria for what constitutes quiet. As a result, Tons of Parking Larger Waiting Room
saying, “They did just okay in school” or “Yes, they are a bit
quiet,” might not be true given the criteria of the person on
the asking end.
The point being, when the questioner is going through a
broad and general checklist to verify that the single they are
looking into is a nice and regular young man or woman,
there is no need to go into specifics. Simple affirmations of
positive qualities and the framing of subjective qualities in a
positive light are the appropriate path to travel. If the ques-
tioner wants to know more, they will ask more; otherwise, it
is best left alone.
When one is able to lead the conversation with measura-
ble qualities of the single being asked about and provide spe-
cific examples of those qualities, it can often prevent the
questioner from asking empty, checklist-type questions to
begin with. Such lists are usually pulled out only when the
conversation stalls or when the interviewee is not providing
information that captures the attention of the questioner.
A Mighty Responsibility IDsoReseYaoudriCnhgilda: SStSrSStturttrugrrSSuuuSggSttgtgggrrltreruugglugueggllgeeglgggeglleell?ee
As a closing point to the topic of receiving calls as a shidduch Avoid reading?
reference – and again, this is much easier accomplished Have poor comprehension? Your child can have
when one knows in advance that one has been listed as a ref- Skip words or re-read lines? 20/20 eyesight,
erence on a single person’s profile – one must acknowledge Have a tracking problem? yet lack the
the accompanying responsibility of being a reference. Close or cover one eye? visual skills
Complain of headaches? critical for reading.
To succeed as an effective reference requires hard work; it Take forever to do homework?
demands thoughtfulness, taking the time to have the conver- Have history of concussion Find out if an undiagnosed
sations, doing so in a relaxed manner, and resisting the urge vision problem is keeping
to respond flippantly to the inevitable distasteful or dumb- ©The Advertiser 410-764-3787 your child from achieving
founding question – a common pitfall that disservices all to full potential.
involved – and most importantly, truly knowing the single
person one is speaking about. Major Medical insurance may
cover testing and treatment.
No one wants to say no when asked if they can serve as a
reference on a shidduch profile, as it is a great zechus to facil- Visit www.VLCA.com to sign up for
itate shidduchim in any way possible. Therefore, if accepting our FREE monthly seminars.
the role, one must fully accept the responsibility of acting as
a reference and be willing to devote oneself to developing the CaVeniinndstiPoeCirnokselTuLshomvecilbralaeitapeyd
skills required.
May Hakadosh Baruch Hu, hachoinein le’adam da’as,
give all of us the requisite wisdom and fortitude to respond
to the shidduch calls we receive with grace and sechel, and
may our preparedness help assist in the bringing of many
young men and women to the chuppa.◆
This is Part 2 of a three-part series. Look for Part 3, where Dr. Michael Kotlicky
we will pick up with specifics on the topic of how to make
successful shidduch research calls, in the next issue of the Developmental Optometrist ,ca rnua
Where What When. 410-730-5808 • www.vlca.com
8827 Columbia 100 Pkwy Columbia, MD 21045
u 410 358 8509 u 47
