I have been thinking about simchas lately. This is a subject that affects almost every family. And while a simcha is truly a joyous occasion, a highlight in our ordinarily mundane lives, it comes with a myriad decisions and the delicate managing of relationships. I gleaned many of the ideas in this article from a collection of essays called Rays of Hope by Rabbi Chaim Zev Ginsburg.  

Are You Coming?

Whom to invite to the simcha and who should attend are

My brother Aharon Dovid is 16 years younger than I am. He was born when I was in the 11^th grade. When I am with him and some of his students, he likes to introduce me as his younger sister. The students look a little shocked, but it always gets a good laugh.

Aharon Dovid, also known as Rabbi E, is an expert at getting people to laugh and connecting to others. All the things he used to do that annoyed his teachers when he was in school he now uses for his career. To be a kiruv professional, you need those skills. Aharon Dovid works as a kiruv rabbi on the NYU campus, where the students he meets love him and look up to him. I know he is always busy, but I am not sure what he does all day. I thought it would be interesting to hear about his activities, goals, what he considers a success, and whether things have changed since the war in Israel began.

My sister, Esther Baila Schwarz, who lives in Monsey, is a well-known speaker for women on Torah topics. Recently, she took a new position with a hotline called Libainu, where girls between 12 and 18 years old are encouraged to call with their questions on hashkafa topics or any problems they have. My sister is the one who answers their questions and often repeats that she is not a therapist or a professional, just a nice bubby who answers questions. Although I am far from my teenage years, I was amazed at the wide variety of questions that the girls asked. I think you will also find them interesting. With Esther Baila’s permission, I am presenting some of the questions and her answers.

“Having a baby is earth shattering,” says Judy Yankelove, a local lactation consultant. “A new mother needs support. She should eat right, get rest, find friends to talk to, and ask for help from friends and family.”

This advice seems obvious, and this was how new mothers were treated in Europe. My father, who was born in Germany in 1930, told me that women stayed in bed for two weeks after giving birth. However, times have changed, and women today are reluctant to take it easy. Or perhaps our very busy lives make it difficult. Even the healthcare professionals have abandoned the “old-fashioned” ways and send new mothers and babies home after 24 hours, unless there is some complication.

I haven’t had little children in my house for a long time, but one thing I remember is the big mess that toys make. In a very short period, a clean house can look like a tsunami hit it. Pieces of toys are strewn all over the floor, and the children in the house are playing with an empty cardboard box!

Whenever I think of a topic for an article, I ask my son-in-law Avi if it says anything about this topic in the gemara. I didn’t really think there would be anything about toys in the gemara, but to my surprise, there was. Avi told me that in the gemara Yuma it talks about taking care of a young child. Abayah relates that his rebbe (and adoptive father) Rabba would buy cracked dishes for a low price to give to his children so they could have the fun of breaking them. It seems that even children in the time of the gemara liked to make a mess.

I took a walk this week and was surprised to find such a beautiful and peaceful place so close to home. If your family enjoys hiking, this Chol Hamoed is a perfect time to try Lake Roland Park, formerly Robert E. Lee Park. It is off of Falls Road, at 1000 Lakeside Drive, just a short drive away. The hiking trails are hidden away in the woods but well marked, and some are easier than others. When you walk them, you feel like you are on a vacation far away from home. There is also a nature center and a playground for young children.

My outing reminded me of Chol Hamoed Sukkos, which is a full week this year – many days to fill with family trips. I tried to gather ideas of places to go with young families that are looking for things to do. Here are some of them: