I am seriously dating a girl whom I like very much. She is kind and sweet, with excellent qualities of character. We have many common interests and enjoy each other’s company. There is just one problem. I have come to know her family these few months we have been dating, and have enjoyed spending time with them on Shabbos and at various family events. However, I have noticed that her numerous married sisters share one particular characteristic: None of them likes her in-laws. Many times, I have heard the sisters’ husbands say something like, “Let’s go to my parents,” and his wife says, “I don’t want to do that.” The sisters don’t seem to like to spend time with anyone but their own family. Their husbands have to work very hard to get them to go to theirs.

To the Shadchan:

I have been involved in making shidduchim for a number of years. In the past few months, I have encountered situations that have upset me, and I would value your opinion on what to do. One example: I will redt (suggest) a shidduch to a guy, and he will check out the girl and say yes. The girl also says yes, but she will be away, and I can’t set up the date right away. I inform the guy, and he says he will wait. After the girl returns, however, he is busy dating someone else.

In another instance, I redt a shidduch to a guy and he says yes, and the girl says yes also. Unfortunately he is in the middle of exams, and can’t go out right away. She says she’ll wait. What happens? After the exams, I call the guy, and find out that another shadchan approached him with a “better idea” and he’s going out with her! Isn’t there any mentchlechkeit in shidduchim these days?

To the Shadchan:
I have been dating a very nice guy for a few weeks. For the most part things are going well, and I see a lot of potential. There is one thing that really bothers me, though. We have had a few dates where we were walking outside and were passed by some homeless people. My date, who is usually very nice, was very rude to them, telling them to “get out of the way and go back where you came from.” Furthermore, he went on to speak badly about them after we passed by. These people have

To the Shadchan

My friend and I went through school together and are now in our mid-twenties. I am married; she is not. I recently thought of a shidduch idea for her. He is someone my husband met in shul and brought home for Shabbos lunch. He seems to be a nice person. He has a job and is presentable, well mannered, and personable. My only hesitation is that he is not as polished and accomplished as she is. My friend is a terrific girl – someone special. She is a professional who is capable, refined, and socially adept.

My feeling

To the Shadchan:
Ihave been dating a girl for several weeks now, and things have been getting serious. I have been thinking about different nice ways to propose to her. A few days ago, a friend told me that he saw her father eating at a non-kosher restaurant. This information upset me greatly. I don’t want to marry into a family where I have to worry about kashrus. I want my in-laws to set a good example for my future children. I know that her father is a little bit on the modern side, but nothing like this! I tried

My brother and sister-in-law have daughters who are in the “parsha.” My brother has taken himself out of the process, leaving it entirely to my sister-inlaw. While I understand this is normally the case, I am becoming very concerned. My sister-in-law is a very angry, in-your-face person. I have, of course, been on the lookout for my nieces and have attempted to redt (suggest) a few boys. But every time I have tried to speak about a boy, she interrogates me. In cases where she knows the family, she will always find some fault with them, such as “She will