“Once upon a time,” most women left their jobs once they had a child. But by the late 1980s, the milk-and-cookies mom of the 1950s and ’60s had been largely replaced by the working mom. The transition was not smooth, and the tension between the two groups played out in the media and in private life in what was called the “mommy wars.” Now, more than 30 years later, and with a majority of mothers in the workplace, the skirmishes have died down, but it is still one of those topics about which everyone has an opinion. Stay-at-home mothers criticize working mothers for neglecting their kids, while working mothers look down at stay-at-homes for being too indulgent and not contributing to their family’s income. Is there a right and a wrong? That is the question I will explore in this article. But one thing is certain: Whether a mother should work or stay at home is a dilemma that no family can avoid.

Editor’s Note: The footnotes containing relevant citations for this article can be found at the end of the article.

I, like others, have gone through many other channels trying to get my voice heard. Medical professionals, other concerned parents, teachers and staff members, and public health officials have all told me that they have given up trying: No one is listening, and nothing will make a difference. I have a Ph.D. in Immunology from the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and as a professional in the field, a member of the community, and a parent of young children in the schools I feel obligated to speak out publicly and say that we, as a community, must do better.

During the Fall 2020 school year, we saw a layered approach also worked in schools in, for example, Missouri,²⁰, Utah,²¹ rural Wisconsin,²² and Florida.²³

My father’s family lived in the Bavarian town of Gunzenhausen since the 14^th century. When my parents had to flee their home in the middle of the night, 83 years ago, it marked the end of six centuries of Hellmann presence in that town. My parents, Richard and Betty Hellmann, often recalled their harrowing experiences on Kristallnacht, November 9, 1938. They never kept it a secret.

My father was born, and lived his entire life, in the house at 13 and 15 Kirchestrasse (Church Street). It was a double lot in Gunzenhausen, a town of about 16,000 people in Mittlefranken, the Middle Franconia region of Bavaria, about 35 miles southwest of Nuremberg. The house was large, built in 1745, and had been purchased by my great-grandfather in 1867 for 7,200 florins. (I do not know how much that is in today’s money.) Several Hellmann families lived in the house but all the other families were gone by 1938.

Wow! What a month this has been! Are you ready to get back to your routines? As we come down from this whirlwind of Yom Tovim and head into the winter months, many of you may be considering ways to take control of your health. Here are five health tips you can implement into your day. It is my hope that these tips will help you reset after the holidays or create new, healthful habits to implement for life. (Please note that these suggestions are not meant to be your individualized plan. Please discuss your individual needs with your physician and registered dietitian.) 

What you are about to read shocked me, too. I first learned of it when my husband shared Rav Moshe Heinemann’s emotional plea on Selichos night at the Agudah about the hundreds of frum Baltimore children are not enrolled in Jewish schools. Without offering any further details, the Rav passionately stated that our community has a responsibility to deal with this issue. I was determined to find out more, and the investigative reporter in me took over. This is what I discovered:

It turns out that Seth Gerstman was also at the Agudah on Selichos night and heard Rav Heinemann’s plea. He took the initiative to gather further information for the Rav, and was most instrumental in leading me to those in the loop.

I heard a shiur recently by Rabbi Benzion Shafier about the potency of criticism. It is a topic that interests me, and it seems quite a propos to this season of spiritual accounting. Rebuke – or criticism – is a mitzva in the Torah. But how can one fulfill this mitzva without antagonizing people and ruining our relationship? Mishlei (Proverbs) says, “Rebuke not the scoffer, lest he hate you, and rebuke the wise man and he will love you.” Not only does the person being rebuked have to be wise enough to accept criticism but the rebuker also has to be wise enough to know how and when to deliver his rebuke!

 Vegetable Lasagna

My mother-in-law gave me this recipe, and she got it from her mother. It’s really yummy. I submitted it years ago to the Gevuras Yarden cookbook.

9 lasagna noodles, cooked per package directions

2 T. oil

1 small onion

1 8 oz. can mushrooms

2 carrots, peeled and diced

1/3 c. sliced black olives

1 16-oz. can tomato sauce

1 4-oz. can tomato paste

1 tsp. oregano

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

12 oz. frozen spinach, defrosted

16 oz. cottage cheese

8 oz. grated mozzarella cheese

Sauté onion and carrots in oil until soft. Add sliced olives and mushrooms and sauté an additional 10 minutes. Add tomato sauce, paste, pepper, garlic powder, and oregano. Simmer on low heat for 10 minutes.

Line a 9x13-inch pan with 3 lasagna noodles. Layer 1/3 of the cottage cheese, then 1/3 of the spinach, 1/3 of the sauce, and 1/3 of the grated cheese. Repeat layers 2 additional times. Bake at 375° F. for 40 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and golden brown. Cool slightly prior to serving.

Having just begun the Torah again, it is noteworthy that immediately after man’s creation the critical commandment that Hashem gives to Adam and Chava is stated in the negative: “You must not eat from the tree of knowledge.” Later, in Shemos (Exodus), seven of the Ten Commandments are stated in the negative. Of the 613 mitzvos, 365 (the majority) are thou-shall-nots. When the famous sage Hillel states what is commonly known as the Golden Rule, he speaks in the negative: “That which is hateful to you, you should not do to your fellow man.” Throughout the Talmud, the sages often put ethical maxims in the negative. For example: In Pirkei Avos 2:5: “Do not separate yourself from the community,”  “Do not judge your neighbor until you are in his place,” “Do not say when I am free I will study for you may never be free.”

A few months ago, I was reading the newspaper when I came across the headline about an internet security guru, Daniel Kaminsky, who unfortunately passed away at the age of 42. For some reason my curiosity was piqued, so I googled the name to find out more about him. It seems that Mr. Kaminsky was responsible for detecting and identifying weaknesses in computer security to the point that the list of his accomplishments is so impressive that I can’t even understand it. His illustrious career began around the age of four, when he taught himself how to code using a computer that his father bought him from Radio Shack. Unlike many precocious youths, who are happy to fiddle around in the privacy of their own homes, Mr. Kaminsky apparently subscribed to the Star Trek motto, “Where no man has ever gone before.”